The Chaos Theory
Have you sometimes felt vaguely sad about life being perfect? I have been grappling with this feeling for the past few weeks..And strangely I havent been able to figure a way out of this.
This phase of my life has nothing wrong in it. Everything appears to be smooth-sailing. And every now and then, I see a defined horizon in front of me. Life has somehow fallen into order.
And so, I constantly wonder if I am missing my disorderly life?
I guess, from where I come, there is a ‘hunt’ for everything. From groceries to people, there is a constant search that forms a major chunk of our lives. And when somehow this search ends, there is a void. A time, a phase, an opportunity. To do nothing.
It is during this phase, that most people (including me) feel edgy. A feeling where we try to sabotage our current good state to feel ‘noisy’ again. Much like an addiction, this ‘hunt’ leaves us with considerable withdrawal symptoms. Which brings me to my next thought.
Do human beings need drama to make life exciting?
(Pause and a long stare into blank space)
I have come to the conclusion that, I personally worship chaos. When life is smooth sailing, there has to be something somewhere that is wrong. Murphy is my God! How can I not believe in untoward, perfectly timed goof-ups?
And so, on these crazy afternoons, when peace gives me the jitters, I lean back and look onto the blank white ceiling. Although it is a pristine white, there can be a thousand different colours and a gazillion different textures, it can STILL hold.
Just a matter of time.
“And I got a peaceful easy feeling,
And I know it won’t let me down
‘Cause I’m already standing on the ground.” – Eagles.