An Ode to English..
The other day, I was being chatted up by this fairly smart fella in a coffee shop. When it was time to leave, the young man finished with his farewell greetings and finally mentioned,
“You have a great day, ‘babes’!”
What and who on earth is ‘Babes’? Did he see two or more of me? Did he, in all his subtlety, mean I was ‘Fat’? Or was it an “oh-look-I-am-so-cool” statement?
Whatever it was, it wasn’t cool.
It also set me thinking about the other words and grammar errors that would make the Shakespeares and Wildes of the world roll in their graves. The ones I could recollect —
- Anyways — Really? Anyway.
- I ‘only’ told her to do that — Yes you could tell her to do that. But ‘only’ you can make us Indians look so narcissistic.
- ‘Seriously’, she is a good person — And what makes you so serious about it?
- What is your ‘good’ name? — Ok, my ‘good’ name is Dick. Now?
- They did it, ‘no’? — I fail to understand the question cos the No makes the answer irrelevant.
I will not even hit the ‘Pronunciation’ patch ‘cos then I will get into the ‘Regional Diversity’ of it and this post will run into pages.
Language Murderers, bah.