On Impending Absence…

**Off a hand-written epistolary **

It is 2.30 am. Moonlight stares at our bed, while you sleep in your noisy bliss. It is my fourth day straight, without a blink…just good enough to lie right before you wake. To see me in bed.  Next to you.

I can feel the distance between us …growing. The ever expanding emptiness and our growing silence only add to the sadness.  A quarter down, an empty pack of Marlboro Lights and Coldplay for company help me in sustaining emotions for one time being.

I often picture myself to be seated on the periphery of an arena used for training horses. They run within the periphery, galloping their lungs out, without a strain of emotion on their face. They had to get somewhere. 

After a tiring day, most steeds but one halted for rejuvenation. The unaltered relentless run of the outstanding one disturbed me though.  I wanted it to take a breather.

In my effort to slow it down, I saw passion raging in its eyes. It wasn’t meant to be stopped. 

That steed for me was you.

The cold December whiff reduces my turmoil to goose bumps. An urgent need to keep warm arises. Alas, you remain oblivious.

Hard to believe, tomorrow will be the last of me that you would see. For. Ever.

Most people accelerate into each other’s lives by shifting gears when the time is right. We however, drove in the reverse. And quite normally hence, it finally is a “You” and a “Me” and not an “Us” at the end of our story.

Reinstates my ideology, that love, in fact is pretty over rated.

I pushed the pen a little more onto the paper…and the nib broke.

 

Me.

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