The Naught-ee Feeling
While looking outside the window last evening, some fleeting gray clouds catch my eye. The moon illuminates the dark canvas of the night sky just enough to identify these moving clouds. They pace themselves like the old…with a zest to just float, before they condense into small drops…quenching the early morning desire of the earth.
Somewhere while they traversed their way through the skyway, I related to the peaceful zest that the clouds reflected.
That of “vast nothingness”
There is this serene make-do with the way things are… Good if good and equally good if bad. The so-called ‘disturbances’ of life fade away like a walkman’s dying battery…much to my pleasure this time around though. Ambitions amuse while rat races disinterest. People pass by in this confusion, hoping they would stir the “meself” while all I do is wave out to them, wishing them all the best …There is zero obsession for obsessing with pseudo-success, anyway.
Not that I don’t give a damn, but this “naught” in my heart is making me increasingly numb to the ‘unnecessary’.
Perhaps, it is just a part of life where answers to most insecurities have been discovered and the feeling of being “comfortable “in the skin has taken over.
Holding the thought trail, I walk past a mannequin-laden store in the suburban mall. I look at the black figure pointlessly and find a reflection of myself in the store’s hallway… Almost instantaneously, I also see an alter ego making its presence felt in the reflection. It looks at me, winks and mentions a quick “We’re Good”… I smile and follow the ego out to the next store.
This part of my life is called Infinite Indifference.
“Nothing to do.. Nowhere really to be… This is just a simple kind of free”