I feel like I am growing older every day…Not number wise per say, just thought wise. I look at myself every morning and there is this weary person who stares back at me. With a satisfaction that is very hard to define.
I dislike being juvenile anymore. Not that I have given up on things that are immature, just that the thought of “fitting in” is an irksome activity. I quite like being alone and without “friends”, than have dozens around me who make me feel lonelier than I ever could be.
I do not feel jealous anymore. No, insecurities about work, about consequences and/or the thought of living it up. Money’s tight one month, it is free flowing the next. I do not feel like being in the rat race anymore. Again, it doesn’t mean I have given up on ambitions…Just that it also includes a bit of philanthropy now. I always have been a philanthrope, I guess.
I have begun to like children. I wouldn’t mind being a single mother and start investing my time in shaping a life. It amazes me to see what a simple touch of a hand can do to someone in despair. Kids in confusion, hence, seem too attractive, offlate.
Walking engages my thought..It gives me a fresh perspective. No reasons whatsoever, but I have been addicted to walking for the past month now.
I am beginning to like makeup.. A good looking lip gloss is the max I can get up to… even now, though 😐
I like coming back home to a conversation over a cup of warm brewed coffee. Whether it is my mother ranting about her day or my father wearing a sullen look over his IT returns, they somehow make me relate to my responsibilities..once in a while.
I think I am ready to settle down. And it is not that I dont like being who I was until last year… But the strength and inclination to invest my time is more on travelling and reading…than anything else.
All said and done, I still like the young flavour of vodka and the intoxication that wraps my mind to jabber about old age right now.
Maybe, I am just high. Or probably sitting high. Somewhere on the bell curve of life.