There are these times, when I think people fake an entire existence.
Rule of human nature is to attract attention. The degree to which an individual will actually go to, is entirely subjective. However, when you observe it from a third person’s perspective, it is both amusing and annoying.
It is hard to figure why and what is it that makes people do what they do. If you think about it really hard, the answer you get, is that every individual on some level is a narcissist. And lonely.
I have seen scores of young individuals building an image out of something that is in no way even close to their original selves. This of course, is a direct outcome of fear of being called an outcast. A person who is “boring”.. Amusing as it may sound, such individuals have lived on like this for years altogether. And have done really well for themselves.
But is it really satisfying?
I fail to understand this “hard work” that one puts in to create a shadow. Is it so important to be recognized among my peers? Is it so important to always look, feel or seem good? Is it so important to work upon overcoming the shortcomings that could bare the real self to the world?
Fact is, that in the process of creating images that would be widely accepted in society and also to have that “unique” tag attached to us, we isolate ourselves furthermore and fail to accept the simple person in the mirror.Living in Denial is what we call it in human pyschology.
So when it was time for me to jot down all the things that I am not, I thought :
– I ain’t that pretty young thing with that little red dress on. Although, she gains her major share of attention, I would be OK with grabbing just one pair of eyeballs with the look that I put on daily.
– I ain’t as sweet as I portray to be. Normal human beings have mood swings and so do I. Not to mention, that I ain’t uber cool. I am pretty emotional about things I possess and people I love.
– The rebel in me has died. All that remains is an occasional “karya-kartini” who flares up in arguments.
– I speak less. I listen MORE. It is a turn off, yes. But there would be people who speak lesser than I do. Hopefully I will meet them soon.
Small deals like these, actually make it easier to overcome the imitations that have caused many a limitation to my existing personality. The realization is bitter. The change? Takes long.
The end result is drastically different. And not many can adhere to it for too long.
“Beware lest you lose the substance while grasping at the shadow” – Aesop
** To be continued **