Douglas Coughlin

For those who know me well, Douglas Coughlin is a name common enough to bore them right in the middle of an interesting conversation..For the uninitiated,Douglas Coughlin is the unsung protagonist of a cocky movie named Cocktail made in the 1980’s to provide some quintessential soul searching to the “just beginning to get lost” audience .. His character had some of the most real and awesome quotes which when used in scenarios become the matter of envy for most conversationalists, good or bad.. Dont believe me? Read on..

Scenario 1 : You are in the middle of a lecture, thinking what you would gain out of studying the crap that is being taught anyway..

Your answer : “Brian: Not a goddamned thing any one of those professors says makes a difference on the street.
Doug: If you know that, you’re ready to graduate. “

Scenario 2 : You are sitting with your boyfriend when an ultra hot woman passes by your table with a not so good looking boyfriend to escort her.. You see the boyfriend sigh ..

Your  Answer : “Coughlin’s Law; Anything else is always something better. “

Scenario 3 : You take a loo break and the boyfriend  manages to strike a conversation with the hot lady…when your topic comes up and he mentions “how lately things haven’t been going too well”.. You happen to overhear some part of the conversation

Hot lady’s probable answer : “ Coughlin’s law: never tell tales about a woman. No matter how far away she is, she’ll always hear you.”

Scenario 4 : Your workload has drastically increased over the week..

Your reasoning : Coughlin’s law: never show surprise, never lose your cool.

Scenario 5 : You sit with friends in a local bar on a Friday evening to crib about the week’s torture and clearly prove how big a victim you are..

Your final line : “The Luck is gone / the brain is shot / but the liquor we still got.”

The most awesome introduction to be ever given if you are like me : Douglas Coughlin, Logical Negativist. Flourished in the last part of the 20th Century. Propounded a set of laws the world generally ignores, to its detriment.

And what probably would constitute my end as well :

My dearest Brian, A guy like me looks in the mirror, he either grins, or he starts to fade away. And I haven’t seen anything to grin about in a long time. This may not be the most graceful exit, but I know when the bottle’s empty. The only thing I’m really going to miss is the conversations we had. At least I get the last word, even if I had to mail it in. Coughlin’s Law: Bury the dead. They stink up the joint. As for the rest of Coughlin’s Laws, ignore them. The guy was always full of shit.
But I guess you knew that already.

Douglas Coughlin. Ahh, had he been for real, I would have travelled far and wide to search for him. In the meanwhile I can only converse in his quotes and enjoy his sheer awesomeness. 😀

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