Ahh,Weddings ..

14/604 got married! For years now, I have looked at his mother talk about his smartness and intelligence, and how (for ages now) she has been trying to find the right match for him. Considering his mother finding him the world’s most “beautiful” boy (I am sure she meant handsome), the only other common word used to describe 604 was “loser”… Oops I forgot the capital l (Not that I think you are a loser mate. I think you are simply “eccentric” and a “little less endowed with respect to brains”… I completely empathise with you otherwise)…So when the D-day was announced, all I could imagine was the triumphant face of 604 grinning wickedly at the singles, implying or probably trying to imply who the losers actually were then (Yeah, they think they can make you feel like that, even though, secretly it is the exact opposite. )

But but but, 604 decided to take revenge only in ways he could. I had returned from a long and tiring party (yeah, too much of everything gets tiring) at the stroke of midnight and had rolled long enough on the bed to seek some sleep, when I heard it… The not-so-sweet tune of the Shehnai, coupled with the trumpet and the portable base drums (the kinds we used to beat at vigorously in schools)… To check whether I was the only one in discomfort, I peeked outside the window to see the entire building on the opposite end lit up, with a head in every window of the building. It was funny to see messy hair heads bobbing to the sounds of “Jaanu meri Jaan…Main tujhpe qurbaan (and rightly so)” played crudely in the middle of the night. Not to mention, drunk pot bellied uncles trying to grab every PYT (for that matter any young thing), only to skip a beat in the middle and lose rhythm and dance like the Asuras of Lankaland.

In all of this however, there were a few things to be noted:

–          The tunes were played for the crowd and did not in any way imply a groom’s procession. How else would someone explain the playing of “Meri pyaari behaniya banegi dulhaniya” at a groom’s wedding?

–          Almost all the ladies had tears in their eyes. I wonder whether they were the-thank-god-my-daughter-is-now-saved tears or poor-to be –mrs.604 tears…ohh wait, they could be i-am-so-bored-with-the-wedding-i-could-cry tears as well. These are the kinds that can be justified.  Why else would someone cry from the groom’s end? Strange.

–          Last but not the least, every bobbing head from their windows strained their necks to have a look at the groom. Why?  Would he look less like Keshto Mukherjee and more like Rajesh Khanna post makeup?  And if you are so keen, just put on your PJ’s and walk as if you were out for a walk…Would have surely gotten a better view and proved yourself to be a bigger loser than the groom himself.

Considering the most ungodly time selected for weddings in India, what struck me was the enthusiasm of everybody involved. Imagine, a heavily decked mother of two, weighing almost a 100 kilos, dancing away to glory at 3am and that too without being high on alcohol. Respect!

From what it looked, 604 had a good time as well. His white horse (more of a stunted mule) did make him look like the quintessential knight in shining armour from the movies (South Indian precisely)…The noise of the band was ofcourse good enough not to make me (or anyone) sleep that night..

And that his wedding actually made me feel sad. Our very own neighbourhood pervert was getting married.  Who would I observe and have a nasty laugh about now?

P.S.: Congratulations 604… I hope you have a less burdening married life. Try not to be too much of what you have been so far and I am sure you would remain in long lasting marital bliss.

And yeah, screaming and dancing into monogamy in the middle of the night? Good revenge mate. Cheers.

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