Quantum of Solace?

….The moon takes over from the Sun and my side of the earth sees the darkness of the space yet again… I look out of the window and gaze at the flight of birds as they head back home and as the stars slowly start glowing…an ungainly Blaise takes over my existence and I mull.. An entry. A name. A childhood. A teen insane. Memoirs,both,good and bad,seemed to surround me…but none,ever so defined my existence.  Seems like the eternal quest. And i wonder…Why do I wake up with a look that defies life? Why don’t I look at me in the mirror? Why do I walk down to my workplace without my task manager running in my head? Why doesn’t it feel good when someone compliments me on my work? Why do I feel numb when someone holds my hand? Why do I feel raped off my soul?

When did I lose the feeling? Why did I lose the feeling? What led me away? What went so wrong? Why doesnt losing matter anymore? Why doesnt winning matter anymore? Why isn’t a dying man different anymore? Why doesnt success taste sweet? Am I turning into the non-living? But wait,ain’t I breathing? The desideratum of self-realisation was increasing. The life around me was moving in a spiral. On the edge of a black hole. It’s either there or here. There was just a feeling of a forlorn,unknown identity moving within the realms of my body urged to be identified. Despair was all that I could get. The insipid life was coming to an end. I could see the bloodshed from my eyes,but simply laughed at my body turned cadaver. Imitation personified.A fake plastic smile.Feelings very superficial. Turned numb,had I? Bootless sarcasm,in my words. A pitiful smile. A harum-scarum walk. Was it definitive? Surge of emotions. Yet unaffected.

Numbly moving away…

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